Thursday, May 21, 2009
some things never change. no matter hard i try.
they remain the same. always dere sumwhere.
i noe they are always dere. popping out when i least expect it.
disappearing when i dun want them to.
its like a game of hide-and-seek
its jus dat its a game i noe i will nvr win.
i tired my hardest. being the one i thought would be enough.
i tried my best. juggling everything i have.
but in the end. they all jus came crashing down.
on me.
i hate those things you noe. but it seems like everyone wana try.
wana try to see me cry
push me to the pits when im already down. are you even a fren of mine?
or rather. do you even take me as a fren?
im sick of insecurities. im sick of stupid things dat i cant even understand sumtimes.
how they came about how to solve em i dun even noe.
i fear to even respond sumtimes. wad is wrong wif me?
why am i so useless without security?
without anyone i can rely on. im a gone case.
dere are times i dun even wana try u noe?
and i dun like ur sympathy but i need it.
like how pathetic is this mans? i dun like it but i need it.
without it i'll be alone.
alone.
with so many things swarming in my head i dun even noe how to act anymore
wad should i do? how should i be myself? why should i even bother?
am i still sane?
there are times i wana jus segregate myself from the rest of the world.
from all of u
how do i noe if any of u is true?
i dun
my useless puny brain doesnt allow me to tink at all.
i cant tell.
i really cant.
i keep having the idea dat death is near
my heart my diet, everything will bring death near
if i were to die its okay. no one will weep
its good to leave this place while everything is still on the balance beam
once everything comes crashing down.
i wldnt noe wad to do anymore.
i tink death is a solution.
NOT.
i wana die. i dun wana die.
i hate myself for being so coward.
i hate myself for being myself.
i hate myself for not being myself.
dere are so many qns i wana ask. but i cant. im jus not bold enough to.
BRAVE AND BOLD.
my foot
do ur like me?
am i ur fren?
if u like me? y dun u guys sit wif me?
do ur actually really hate me for being so slack?
do ur even take me as part of ur?
am i still ur sista?
hav u forgiven me yet?
are u pissed im not in contact wif u?
do u tink im flirting wif u?
srsly, do ur tink im flirting wif him?
am i a girl or boy to u?
do u trust me?
am i an annoyance?
do u secretly hate me?
hav u ever even see me as ur fren?
do u noe how much the things u said to me hurt me?
can i trust u?
can i change?
hav i done my best?
wads wrong wif me?
am a gd fren?
can i be a gd fren?
can i be a sista to ur?
will i do my best?
will i stop slacking?
will i stop being retarded?
will i stop doing stupid things?
will i die?
they remain the same. always dere sumwhere.
i noe they are always dere. popping out when i least expect it.
disappearing when i dun want them to.
its like a game of hide-and-seek
its jus dat its a game i noe i will nvr win.
i tired my hardest. being the one i thought would be enough.
i tried my best. juggling everything i have.
but in the end. they all jus came crashing down.
on me.
i hate those things you noe. but it seems like everyone wana try.
wana try to see me cry
push me to the pits when im already down. are you even a fren of mine?
or rather. do you even take me as a fren?
im sick of insecurities. im sick of stupid things dat i cant even understand sumtimes.
how they came about how to solve em i dun even noe.
i fear to even respond sumtimes. wad is wrong wif me?
why am i so useless without security?
without anyone i can rely on. im a gone case.
dere are times i dun even wana try u noe?
and i dun like ur sympathy but i need it.
like how pathetic is this mans? i dun like it but i need it.
without it i'll be alone.
alone.
with so many things swarming in my head i dun even noe how to act anymore
wad should i do? how should i be myself? why should i even bother?
am i still sane?
there are times i wana jus segregate myself from the rest of the world.
from all of u
how do i noe if any of u is true?
i dun
my useless puny brain doesnt allow me to tink at all.
i cant tell.
i really cant.
i keep having the idea dat death is near
my heart my diet, everything will bring death near
if i were to die its okay. no one will weep
its good to leave this place while everything is still on the balance beam
once everything comes crashing down.
i wldnt noe wad to do anymore.
i tink death is a solution.
NOT.
i wana die. i dun wana die.
i hate myself for being so coward.
i hate myself for being myself.
i hate myself for not being myself.
dere are so many qns i wana ask. but i cant. im jus not bold enough to.
BRAVE AND BOLD.
my foot
do ur like me?
am i ur fren?
if u like me? y dun u guys sit wif me?
do ur actually really hate me for being so slack?
do ur even take me as part of ur?
am i still ur sista?
hav u forgiven me yet?
are u pissed im not in contact wif u?
do u tink im flirting wif u?
srsly, do ur tink im flirting wif him?
am i a girl or boy to u?
do u trust me?
am i an annoyance?
do u secretly hate me?
hav u ever even see me as ur fren?
do u noe how much the things u said to me hurt me?
can i trust u?
can i change?
hav i done my best?
wads wrong wif me?
am a gd fren?
can i be a gd fren?
can i be a sista to ur?
will i do my best?
will i stop slacking?
will i stop being retarded?
will i stop doing stupid things?
will i die?
she owned @ 4:36 AM