Saturday, May 30, 2009
fuck this screwed up life of mine.
i realised ytd dat i hav no frens to turn to in times of need.
i hav sistas
right. but. i neglected them way too much. i dun tink they will ever forgive me.
i tink things will nvr go bak to the way they are in scgs.
when we are super uber close.
now everything is jus weird.
and its my fault.
and i guess they dun wan me anymore.
i dunoe.
i hav bella.
right. but. i stopped seeing bella for like a few days.
we dun even tok anymore.
i dunoe wad happened.
i hav my sa3 classmates.
right. but. how bout my closest frens in class,
peter and foooo and like flying to china for HOLIDAYYY.
the rest of my classmates?
i guess maybe they dun like me.
i dunoe.
i hav my sc frens.
right. but. they are so far away.
in diff schools.
i dun tink i shld bother em.
i dunoe.
i hav mcp.
right. but. how bout im like an extra in mcp.
im in and im out.
maybe the guys dun even like me too.
i dunoe.
i tink dats mostly it.
i hav no one else.
ytd and tday i realised the importance of FAMILY.
my screwed up life was saved by my cousin.
THANKS CUZZ!
if not i wld had feel off the ledge(?) of the sch backgate and either break some bones or tou po xue liu. wad a sight it wld had been on the headlines.
SCHOOLGIRL CLIMBS BACKGATE CUZ SHE WAS LATE AND FELL OFF IT
!!!!
ytd was also family day.
had tons of fun wif family.
wif my cousins, grandparents, uncles, aunties, doggy and parents!
yea. had so much fun without uuuu yes uuuu.
wad a nice day it was.
i din even tok to u the whole day.
life without u is AWESOME too
cuz i hav my family.
this morn. went CLAM DIGGING wif my cousins again
WAHAHAHA. super fun mans. =)
ive done many fabulous things
fabulously BITCHY things.
and they are all coming bak to haunt me.
yea.
u pangseh sumone.
sumone else pangsehs you.
u wan sumone to forgive you.
sumone else wans you to forgive him.
so much for a vicious cycle.
i noe you hate me.
like to the fact you dun even wana tok to me anymore.
but we've been so long.
i dun wan it to end
not like this not now.
but ive been thinking, maybe it will
its not like i nvr tried.
i guess i din try hard enugh
but den again
everytime its me making the effort
haispu. even tho its my fault
but cant u jus make the effort to forgive me?
ive had enough of making pple smile.
being frenly to others so dat i'll be accepted.
when ur down or angry. i tried to cheer you up.
i had to tolerate all those shit.
i hav my own probs too you noe.
i guess you nvr bothered to see em.
to ask if im okay.
wells. im not.
putting up a smiley front is the only thing i can do to mask it.
fuck the world.
so many pple having on masks.
disgusting.
yea im disgusting.
i act nice
but im not.
i jus wana be accepted
but im not.
i wan frens
but noone wans me
no one likes me
srsly trying is so hard.
im mentally tired.
my legs and arms are aching frm my almost death experience and frm clam digging
they feel like lead. LOL
im so tired
i jus wana curl up in a ball
hide in a hole
wait to die
i realised ytd dat i hav no frens to turn to in times of need.
i hav sistas
right. but. i neglected them way too much. i dun tink they will ever forgive me.
i tink things will nvr go bak to the way they are in scgs.
when we are super uber close.
now everything is jus weird.
and its my fault.
and i guess they dun wan me anymore.
i dunoe.
i hav bella.
right. but. i stopped seeing bella for like a few days.
we dun even tok anymore.
i dunoe wad happened.
i hav my sa3 classmates.
right. but. how bout my closest frens in class,
peter and foooo and like flying to china for HOLIDAYYY.
the rest of my classmates?
i guess maybe they dun like me.
i dunoe.
i hav my sc frens.
right. but. they are so far away.
in diff schools.
i dun tink i shld bother em.
i dunoe.
i hav mcp.
right. but. how bout im like an extra in mcp.
im in and im out.
maybe the guys dun even like me too.
i dunoe.
i tink dats mostly it.
i hav no one else.
ytd and tday i realised the importance of FAMILY.
my screwed up life was saved by my cousin.
THANKS CUZZ!
if not i wld had feel off the ledge(?) of the sch backgate and either break some bones or tou po xue liu. wad a sight it wld had been on the headlines.
SCHOOLGIRL CLIMBS BACKGATE CUZ SHE WAS LATE AND FELL OFF IT
!!!!
ytd was also family day.
had tons of fun wif family.
wif my cousins, grandparents, uncles, aunties, doggy and parents!
yea. had so much fun without uuuu yes uuuu.
wad a nice day it was.
i din even tok to u the whole day.
life without u is AWESOME too
cuz i hav my family.
this morn. went CLAM DIGGING wif my cousins again
WAHAHAHA. super fun mans. =)
ive done many fabulous things
fabulously BITCHY things.
and they are all coming bak to haunt me.
yea.
u pangseh sumone.
sumone else pangsehs you.
u wan sumone to forgive you.
sumone else wans you to forgive him.
so much for a vicious cycle.
i noe you hate me.
like to the fact you dun even wana tok to me anymore.
but we've been so long.
i dun wan it to end
not like this not now.
but ive been thinking, maybe it will
its not like i nvr tried.
i guess i din try hard enugh
but den again
everytime its me making the effort
haispu. even tho its my fault
but cant u jus make the effort to forgive me?
ive had enough of making pple smile.
being frenly to others so dat i'll be accepted.
when ur down or angry. i tried to cheer you up.
i had to tolerate all those shit.
i hav my own probs too you noe.
i guess you nvr bothered to see em.
to ask if im okay.
wells. im not.
putting up a smiley front is the only thing i can do to mask it.
fuck the world.
so many pple having on masks.
disgusting.
yea im disgusting.
i act nice
but im not.
i jus wana be accepted
but im not.
i wan frens
but noone wans me
no one likes me
srsly trying is so hard.
im mentally tired.
my legs and arms are aching frm my almost death experience and frm clam digging
they feel like lead. LOL
im so tired
i jus wana curl up in a ball
hide in a hole
wait to die
she owned @ 11:23 PM